When the banks come a'calling

Below is a script of the conversation I would have daily with at least one bank. In the final month before my bankruptcy became official, I had this conversation at least once daily for each of my three accounts. Two of the accounts were with the same bank and sometimes I would get a call in the morning and one in the afternoon for the same account. So, on more than one occasion, I spoke with the same bank four times in one day and had the exact same conversation with each of them as written below – almost verbatim.

My mobile rings and “private” appears on the screen. This is code for “bank”. I pick up the phone and wait for the inevitable call centre pause before speaking:

Me:	Hello, this is Girl Bankrupted.
Random Bank Monkey:	Hello, may I speak with Grill Bunkrap?
Me:	This is Girl Bankrupted speaking.
RBM:	Hello, Miss Bunkrap, this is the Big Four Bank calling regarding a personal banking matter, for security reasons may I begin by confirming your date of bir-
Me:	Num-Month-Nineteen-Seventy-Three
RBM:	Thank you, Miss Bunkrap, can you also confirm your current residential addre-
Me:	Num-Street-Suburb-Postcode
RBM:	Thank you, Miss Bunkrap, we have a mobile number listed for you, but do you wish to add another num-
Me:	No thanks.
RBM:	You don’t have a landline at home that you can provide?
Me:	Nope.
RBM:	Okay, Miss Bunkrap, the reason for my call today is your personal loan account which has an amount of $2045 which is now 160 days overdue. You also have another payment for $665 which will fall due on the 25th of this month. Can you explain why this account has fallen into arrears and when you will be able to bring this account back up to date?
Me:	Just scroll down on your notes a bit, you’ll see that I’m actually in the process of going bankrupt, I’m just waiting for the administrator to lodge the documents and give me the bankruptcy number.
RBM:	Oh… one moment, please… oh yes, I see you are planning to file bankruptcy… Do you have a bankruptcy number yet?
Me:	No, that’s what I’m waiting for.
RBM:	Okay, well as soon as you have that number, please call us immediately so that we can close the account and then we will not need to call you again.
Me:	Yes, that is my dearest wish.
RBM:	Certainly, Miss Bunkrap. I need to advise you that if this account is not brought up to date, you may be at risk of default, do you understand what default means?
Me:	Yes.
RBM:	This would be recorded on your permanent financial record and could affect your ability to obtain credit in the future.
Me:	Ye-es… I’m thinking that bankruptcy will probably achieve the same effect anyway?
RBM:	Okay, well, um… there isn’t much more I can do. I’ll make a note here that you are waiting on your bankruptcy number and I’ll try to delay the next phone call for a week. (NB/ only the nice ones would do this and I’d still get a call at latest next day.)
Me:	I’d appreciate that.
RBM:	Oh, okay, well thank you for your time.
Me:	Not a problem!

And that was that. Not so bad, really.