What’s the worst that can happen?

For me, the worst possible consequence of bankruptcy is the loss of reputation. My integrity is the thing that I hold most dear and bankruptcy immediately casts aspersions upon both your business and personal ethics.

Well, the worst has happened. My ex-business partner visited my previous place of employment, under the pretext of accessing services, and told my former colleague that I had filed bankruptcy. My former colleague told my successor and my successor told my former boss. I found out because I rang my former boss to tell her myself because I had a sneaking suspicion that this might happen and I wanted her to hear it from me first. My reputation at work and among the local business community was a great source of pride for me. I was well-respected and held up as a local role model for small business and also young women in business. I believe this reputation was well-founded but I know there will be doubts about this now, particularly because of the strength of my ex-partner’s obvious malice. So why does she wish to see me denigrated when I am so clearly vulnerable?

As I mentioned in a previous post, I helped this woman set up a business under a partnership agreement. This agreement was never written down. It was a verbal agreement between friends and, at the time, I didn’t see the need for a written agreement – I felt it would sully the goodwill between us (yes, I was that stupid). The business was based on a virtuous ideal and we both claimed that we “weren’t in it for the money”. However, in my opinion, as the business became more successful, my business partner felt more and more oppressed by my involvement in the business. She saw the business as her “baby” and resented her dependence on me for the simplest of things, such as drafting a letter or raising an invoice (her literacy skills were very poor). I still don’t understand her motives for asking to dissolve the partnership, she claimed with great bravado that she would continue to operate without me but then did a back-flip a month later and said that I would have to continue to operate the business but she wouldn’t pay me any money. By that time I was so angry, there was no way I could ever work with her again. So I did my best to undo everything I did. I pulled down the website and online store I created. I cancelled the eNewsletter (always sent out under her name but actually written by me), rang the national distributor and told them there was a copyright dispute on the products and posted comments anywhere our products were recommended online. The most destructive thing I did, for which I feel some small remorse, was cancel the domain for the business. This meant that she lost her primary email address and none of our clients could find her.

Do you think she might be a little upset with me?

I don’t regret one single thing I’ve done. This woman took advantage of me, to the point where I can only blame myself for allowing it to happen. Personally, I have never received a single cent from the business and yet she benefited enormously financially, professionally and personally from my skills, qualifications and friendship. My brain simply cannot compute why she would ruin a situation that was so great an advantage for her. I can only surmise that she was not disclosing everything relevant to her decision.

Unfortunately, I am bankrupt. When I re-read my post through your eyes, I am aware that any reader would still reserve some distrust of my version of any event simply because I am bankrupt. So if you are considering bankruptcy, you need to consider this aspect: you will always be presumed culpable in any situation past or present, regardless of your ingenuousness. More than anything, this hurts. You can be discharged after three years and you may even get your credit rating back after seven, but your reputation will take a lot longer to rebuild, if that is even possible. I guess I’ll let you know.