High School Reunion

The irony is killing me. Following on from my previous post, things just reached a new low. I just received an invitation to my 20 year High School reunion. I can only laugh in the hope that it prevents me from crying/murdering someone. How could I forget that it’s been 20 years since I left high school this year?

I’ve been frantically googling and facebooking anyone from school whose full name I can remember. They all appear to fall into two categories:

1. Happily married with 2.6 kids, mainly posting about acquiring new cars and couches, family holidays and their spouses career advances.

2. Working for Nike or an international bank and posting photos of their weekend in Tokyo, where they won a marathon by the way, or their second attempt at Everest (oh my god, you didn’t get up the first time?!).

Everybody dreams about going to their high school reunion, entering triumphant, reveling in the success they’ve made of their lives. I didn’t have a particularly bad time at high school, I quite enjoyed it actually. I wasn’t bullied or ostracised, I had a great group of friends and reasonable self confidence so I don’t have any particular axe to grind. But your 20 year high school reunion is a milestone, a point in time when you stop to consider all that you have achieved since graduation.

I’m imagining the conversation I will have to have over, and over, and over again:

High School Judge & Jury:	So, Girl Bankrupted! Wow! What have you been up to since high school?
Me:	We-ell… got married…
HSJ&J:	That’s great! Congratulations!
Me:	… and divorced.
HSJ&J:	Oh. Whoops, sorry! Ah well, you wouldn’t be the only one… hahaha… any kids?
Me:	No.
HSJ&J:	Awww, well, there’s still time – are you seeing anyone?
Me:	No, no, it’s just me.
HSJ&J:	Lucky! I know sometimes I would just LOVE five minutes to myself, what with the kids and my high paying yet surprisingly easy and incredibly fabulous job/business! Where are you living now?
Me:	I’m living with my parents at the moment.
HSJ&J:	Oh, yes, we had to do that last time we renovated, what a hassle! Are you moving or…?
Me:	No.
HSJ&J:	Oh. So what do you do?
Me:	I work for my Dad.
HSJ&J:	Family business, great! Will you take over when your Dad retires?
Me:	That depends. I’m bankrupt at the moment so I can’t be a Director of a Company or even operate under another name.
HSJ&J:	So…
Me:	Yes?
HSJ&J:	Let me get this straight. You’re divorced?
Me:	Yes.
HSJ&J:	Bankrupt?
Me:	Yes.
HSJ&J:	Single?
Me:	Yes.
HSJ&J:	And living with your parents?
Me:	Yes.
HSJ&J:	Oh my God, you are such a LOSER!!! Hey, everybody listen to THIS…!

And then they’ll award me the Biggest Failure since graduation crown and perform a completely spontaneous yet perfectly synchronised dance number to thank the Gods of High School that their lives turned out so well.

I’m thinking I need to have a plan. One of my very loveliest friends has helped me create some positive spin along these lines:

High School Judge & Jury:	So, Girl Bankrupted! Wow! What have you been up to since high school?
Me:	We-ell… got a degree…
HSJ&J:	That’s great! Congratulations!
Me:	… and travelled a lot, overseas and around Oz.
HSJ&J:	That’s great. Are you married? Any kids?
Me:	No.
HSJ&J:	Awww, well, there’s still time – are you seeing anyone?
Me:	No, I’m just having some time for myself at the moment.
HSJ&J:	Lucky! I know sometimes I would just LOVE five minutes to myself, what with the kids and my high paying yet surprisingly easy and incredibly fabulous job/business! Where are you living now?
Me:	I’m living in [suburb] [state] near the beach, it’s lovely.
HSJ&J:	Sounds great!
Me:	It is. Really.
HSJ&J:	So what do you do?
Me:	I’m doing some consulting work in [my chosen field].
HSJ&J:	Great! Sounds interesting.
Me:	It is, I’m really enjoying it. SO, tell me more about YOU…?

Voila! No lies, just focussing on the positive and deflecting. Everybody loves to talk about themselves, don’t they? I’m not planning on establishing any meaningful relationships with these people and, by the time I see them again (possibly our 30th anniversary reunion) this whole thing will be behind me, right?