Girl, you gotta bad attitude!

I have to change my attitude to money. I just feel as though I’m in free fall all the time. Even under these strict circumstances, there is never enough. Breathing seems to accrue a fee these days.

I’m freaking out because I just got a lawyer’s bill for $2000. And an ambulance bill for $812. The first was entirely avoidable and a complete waste of money. The second was obviously unavoidable and luckily I have insurance but I took way too long to send the claim form off and now the ambulance people have handed it on to a collection agency. I thought those days were over! Not a very good start.

Why do I do that?

I don’t like paper. Put it online and let me pay EFT and it’s done in a flash but make me fill out a form and put it in an envelope and find a stamp and then find a post box and then file the piece of paper, wait for a cheque to come back, retrieve said paper, put it in an envelope and find a stamp and go back to the post box… oh my god, yawn.

Bad attitude! I need to be the anal, obsessive compulsive type that receives it one day, sends it the next. Must develop some fear around consequences. It’s just that once you’ve been over the edge you know exactly where the tipping point is and it’s a long way from a letter from a collection agency. I pushed every boundary that existed and then finally I was the one that pulled the plug. Right up until the day I declared bankruptcy, my credit rating was great. Even though I usually got at least one phone call a month from the bank to remind me to make my payments, the only place that was recorded was at that bank. The really scary thing is that the same banks would send me periodic letters offering me automatic increases on my credit limit, even though I was obviously a bad payer! That’s a whole other blogspot, though.

Maybe I just don’t like money. It’s just an annoying administrative duty you have to undertake. I want to get on with living and not think about it. Having an administrator is great but these two bills I’ve had to take care of myself because they are outside my usual budget. I can’t believe how much it has stressed me out.

I just read that last paragraph. Not like money? No wonder I have problems. Grow up!